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Q&A

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We’ve gathered some of the frequently asked wedding music questions we’ve received from couples over the years and responded to them on these pages. Got a question you need answered? Submit your questions and we’ll respond as soon as possible.

Music

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Do my bridesmaids and I have to walk in to the same music? Or do I have to have something different when it’s time for my entrance?

This is a matter of personal preference – you can do it either way. If you choose to have the same song for the entire processional, ask your musician(s) to insert a dramatic pause just before you take your first step.

Where’s a good place in the ceremony to incorporate “our song”?

A song that’s special to you will be the most meaningful if it’s performed immediately following your vows. You’ll be a little more relaxed and will be able to enjoy it more with the “big moment” behind you. If you’re lighting a unity candle, it can be sung while that’s happening, but if not, just insert it immediately following your exchange of vows/rings. If that won’t work, some good alternatives include: just after your celebrant has welcomed everyone to the ceremony; in between two scripture readings/poems; or near the end, just before your celebrant pronounces you husband and wife.

We’re getting married in a church. Do we have to have religious music?

Check with your wedding coordinator or pastor on this one. Some churches require you to incorporate service responses or congregational hymns into the ceremony. Others may be more flexible about what music you choose, and you’ll likely be able to come up with a nice combination of religious and non-religious selections. Your wedding coordinator or pastor may ask to review the lyrics of any secular songs you’d like sung during the ceremony.

What are some great songs to use for background music in our wedding video?

Any songs that are special to you. Perhaps you had someone sing a special song during your ceremony. Consider using the recording of that performance (or the recording by the song’s original artist) as the background track. If you’d rather not have music with lyrics playing in the background, virtually all of the songs available at myweddingmusic.com are instrumental – including many wedding favorites and popular melodies.

We’re on a tight budget, how can we make our ceremony music work?

The best option is using already recorded music whether you download music to a CD, buy a wedding music CD, or use an mp3 player. Recorded music is inexpensive and it lasts forever, so you can listen to it again and again. Before the ceremony begins, check to make sure your music is in order and you’ll be set for your big day. For song ideas and music inspiration, click here.

Musicians

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Do I have to invite my ceremony musicians to my reception/dance?

The more, the merrier, right? Invite them to join you. Whether they’ll come or not is directly proportional to how well they know you. If you were acquaintances prior to asking them to perform for your ceremony, they’ll likely join you. If they’re hired professionals who you’ve not met before, they’ll likely decline – unless you hit it off during the planning stages.

How do I tell Aunt Margaret that we’ve hired a professional wedding soloist? Or let Uncle Phil know that we’ve hired a professional pianist?

It’s not fair for your musically talented relatives to assume that they’ll be participating in your big day somehow, but they’ll likely do it anyway. The best way to handle this is to be direct and firm as soon as they ask – don’t waffle or make it seem as there’s any chance you might change your mind. And the sooner the better – the longer you take to break the news, the more disappointed they’ll be.

Should my musicians attend the rehearsal?

Yes – absolutely. It’s important to have them there to learn exactly when to play during the appropriate parts of the ceremony. Also, it’s a good chance to reconfirm their arrival and start times for the next day, have them ask any questions of the officiant, etc. If you know them well enough and your budget allows, feel free to invite them to the rehearsal dinner as well.

Where can we find ceremony musicians?

For a nationwide database of professional wedding musicians, check out this section of our website. You can find musicians in your area by typing in your zip code. If you’re still having trouble finding someone, ask the contact person at your wedding venue – they’ll likely be able to give you a few names.

Can I get my deposit back from the string quartet if my fiancé calls off the wedding?

Unfortunately, you won’t be able to in most cases. Deposits are usually nonrefundable. The purpose of a deposit is to secure a group’s services on a specific date – you pay to ensure that they won’t book any other gigs on the day of your event. When you can’t make good, they lose out on expected income, so it’s only fair that they get to keep your money. Check with the musicians – if your ill-fated nuptials were far enough in the future that they’re still able to find another gig for that day, they may take pity and consider returning your money. If not, ask if the deposit is transferable. Perhaps you could book them for another upcoming family event such as an anniversary party?

Reception

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Do we have to have a Father-Daughter/Mother-Son dance? We aren’t exactly close to our parents.

It’s perfectly fine to omit this tradition if it makes you uncomfortable – it’s your day.

Can I have Bon Jovi play my wedding reception?

Believe it or not, yes. Go to www.bookingentertainment.com for more information about booking major celebrities/groups to perform at an event.

Do we have to include novelty dances or a dollar dance in our wedding dance?

These are a fun way to get reluctant partiers out on the dance floor, but you don’t need to include them if you don’t want to. The same goes for ANY particular songs you don’t want played at your reception. When you meet with the band or DJ, just provide them with a “DO NOT PLAY” list. The same holds true for the garter/bouquet toss – if you don’t want to do them, you certainly don’t have to.

My ceremony musicians and DJ require final payment on the day of our wedding. What’s the best way to handle this?

Delegate this responsibility (and responsibility for any other outstanding payments) to your personal attendant, your dad, or the best man. Be sure to arrange for a tip for the DJ also.

How much to live bands charge?

It really depends on many factors – how many people are in the band, how much experience they have, how long you’d like them to play. A live band for your wedding reception can run $1,000+.

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